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Stop comparing, Stop complaining

The other day I had been to a doctor’s place with one of my relatives. The doctor was very methodical in explaining the problem. She drew pictures and explained the whole functionality of the body organ, and she also explained what can, and what has, gone wrong with that organ. I could easily make out that she had complete mastery over what she was telling, and had real life experiences of dealing with similar cases. I was in awe for this doctor.

Few years back, I visited an artist in Kolkata. I looked at more than 100 pictures made by him. All of them were really beautiful, and each picture spoke something really meaningful. This incident is more than 10 years old, but I still remember the incident, as I was in awe for that artist.

While I was in college, during our college function, there was this one guy, when he used to sing, people used to go crazy with the energy in his song, and the vibrant enthusiasm that he carried when he used to sing. I was in awe of that singer.

Few months back, I read a book entitled “If you think, you can” by T.J. Hoisington. I have read that book more than 10 times since then. Each and every sentence in that book is revolutionary. It can change people’s live, if they implement on it. I really loved the thoughts echoed by the author. I was in awe of this writer.

– You must be wondering why I am telling you all these stories. This is to let you know that all of us are special in our own unique way, and we have our own specialties which  we can nurture. One way of looking at the above instances is, I would have compared myself to them, and I could have said to myself that I dont have any such talent which the above guys possess, and be disheartened about it. But rather, the positive way of taking it is that all of them have had their own experiences in life, and they have nurtured their skills and talents, and have honed it to such an extent that they have become successful in it. We always have choice in our life - to compare ourselves with others and crib about what we cant do or what we don’t possess, or else we can look within us, and find that some special something that we have in us, and grow it with full earnestness, without comparing it with others. Remember, fight for a greater self is not by comparing it with others, but rather by raising our own bar, and taking it to the next level. We should compare this way - where we stood five years back, where we are now, and where we would like to see ourselves five years from now: this is the ideal way to compare. The comparison always have to be with us, with our own selves, not with others.

We sometimes set some standards for us, which is totally unrealistic, and beyond our reach. While setting goals, we compare it with the best, and try to achieve that - there is nothing wrong with that, but we should not forget that we also have to set realistic goals, goals which are achievable with our own standards, not by others standards.

I would like to share one more experience here - this experience dates back to the time when I was in Philadelphia. It was a real snowy day. All the roads were covered with blocks of snow, and it was very difficult to drive. I was driving at the speed of 20 miles per hour. Since the major portion of the road was covered with snow, so I had to take some sideways - then all of a sudden, one of the back tires of my car got stuck in a ditch. I tried my best, but unable to take it out. Then I looked for some help. Usually, there is some help around the corner, specially during heavy snow days. One of the tow truck guy came and told that he can help me come out of it. I told him to raise my car using the tow truck. He looked at the car, and said he can take it out just by driving. I said it is not possible, as the tires are stuck deep down. He said to give him a chance. In next 20 seconds, the car was out of the ditch. He came out and said that he does this job everyday. I was in awe of this guy. But does it mean he is a better driver than me. I dont think so. Its just that he had an experience dealing with similar cases more than me. Hence he has gained this specialized knowledge about it. Not mentioning, I thanked him a lot, before he left.

We have this tendency of comparing our experiences with others, and we tend to downgrade ourselves, because we may not have achieved the same level of success. That does not mean, we are no better than the competition. It is just that we need to look deep down, and find out the special talent/ special skill/ special knowledge that we have within, which will make us stand out from the crowd. All of us have it - it is not possible, that we dont have any one special quality.

In US, people dont know how to drive on the left hand side of the road, so does that make them smaller than more than 100 crore Indians who know to do so. Not really. Its because they have been conditioned to drive that way. Similarly our talent lies in our own training. How we train our mind in harnessing their skills is what makes a difference between an average life, and the life well lived.

So we should stop comparing, we should stop complaining, and focus on nurturing and growing our own skills. Remember the real competition lies within us, not outside.